Thursday, March 31, 2011

Dave's Joy of Cooking

Dave’s Joy of Cooking




Five or six years ago, I paid good money for one of those career aptitude tests.  The test came back with the result “craftsman”, which I puzzled over for years.  It sort of made sense, but it really didn’t connect with anything that I liked doing.  It came to me this morning while I was chopping onions and bell peppers for tonight’s dinner (burgers and chips):  I love prepping food.

I love my seven-inch Santoku knife.  I’ve had it for about four years; it’s in that sweet spot of its existence where it seems to get sharper with each use.  I use it almost exclusively (I use other knives to cut bread and to peel and scrape).  I’m still a novice with meats and poultry, so I mostly buy prepped stuff that does not need additional cutting.

Of course, I enjoy watching the cooking shows.  Even before the current reality cooking rage, I loved to watch “Julia & Jacques” and “Two Fat Ladies”, among others.  My current favorite is “Top Chef”, with “Chopped” a close second.  My favorite food shows are “Bizarre Foods” and “Man v. Food”.

Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations” is in a class by itself.  It’s part travelogue, part rant, part culture shock, and part kitchen.  My favorite part is when Mr. Bourdain is invited into someone’s kitchen and is accepted into the family circle long enough to get true insight into a family’s or community’s cooking roots.  I get jealous (in a good way) when he dishes (pun intended) about how uniquely delicious everything tastes, and I know that he can’t be wrong!  Week after week he pounds home the fact that when food is made with loving hands, it has to taste good.

I love creating food that tastes good.  I also love creating food that is healthy and saves money.  Two of my favorites are carrot juice and hamburgers.  What supermarkets charge for carrot juice is just ridiculous!  I can chop/blend/liquefy one dollar’s worth of carrots into a gallon of carrot juice.  Go price a half-gallon of carrot juice at your local market; you’ll see why my blender paid for itself years ago!  And the kicker – homemade carrot juice is about the healthiest thing you can drink!  Same thing with burgers.  For $5 I can make four big, delicious, healthy beef or turkey burgers at home – enough for at least two meals.  How many truly healthy meals can be purchased outside the home with $5.00?  (The only thing that comes to mind is Subway.  I do looove me some Subway!)

I used to make mozzarella, tomato and basil tarts 4-5 years ago.  Not only were they fun to make, the end result was absolutely delicious!  It’s a shame that my renal diet precludes me from making this dish nowadays.  What I still love about it is that the tomatoes, which are mostly water, retained the heat for hours after taking the tarts out of the oven.  The first time I made them, I took the picture you see above.

So, if I love cooking so much, why not try it as a profession?  Here’s why:  I am way past the point where working 70-80 hours a week (or more) is considered cool or anything remotely resembling healthy.  Even if I wanted to do it, I don’t think I am physically able.  Also, there are things I am better at that won’t demand as much of my time.  Like IT.  Whatever career I choose this time, I promise I will manage the job – instead of the other way around.

[Author’s note:  Hilva brought home some sandwiches last night, so I had a burger with chips for breakfast this morning.]

Friday, March 11, 2011

Springtime Haiku

hope springs eternal

for each end a beginning

for all a fresh start

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Sandy (The Shaggy Dog Story)


Sandy
, our family pet, was with us for 13 years or so.  He was an ASPCA rescue.  When we picked him out, the choice came down to either him or his brother; Sandy was so much more energetic and happy to meet us that we unanimously decided that he was the one!  Sandy was a German shepherd mix; we think he was part chow because he was big and he had the same sandy brown color as a chow, hence his name.  Mom still has the one or two pictures of him that exist; as soon as I get the opportunity, I will scan those suckers so Sandy lives on the Internet forever as he lives in my mind right now.

I promised myself that I would only tell one Sandy story, so here we go:  One summer afternoon I was home with Sandy and Mom was at work or school; my brother and sister had moved away by then.  It was mid-afternoon and I had chained him up in the backyard.  His collar was connected to an iron bolt by a long, heavy-gauge chain (not too heavy for him, as he was full-grown and then some by then), and a dish of water, a shade tree and green grass to play in were nearby.  As I was watching TV and eating, I heard him barking excitedly; I went to the upstairs sitting room window and looked outside.  Sandy was being teased by Franchot Murphy.  The Murphy family was the one that no one really wanted their kids to hang out with because they would turn out bad.  There was one girl and five or six boys.  Ronnie Murphy was a year younger than I; Franchot was a couple of years older.  The one older than Franchot was the true terror of the bunch; I seem to have blanked his name out of my memory.  Anyway, Franchot (along with someone I did not recognize) had walked down our driveway into the backyard area, and were just standing there inches away from Sandy, who was straining to get at them while giving them his best “I don’t like you” barkbarkbark.

I just stood there and watched the scene play out, mostly because I didn’t want to get the crap beaten out of me.  Well -- OK, entirely because I didn’t want to get the crap beaten out of me.  I hoped that the confrontation would fizzle out on its own.  It did, as Franchot and his friend got tired of teasing after only a couple of minutes and walked away.

After waiting a suitable period of time, I went outside and to the backyard to check on my buddy.  Sandy saw me coming and rushed toward me as he usually did; the chain tensed up for about half a second, and he broke the chain like it wasn’t even there, and tackled me like Dino tackles Fred on “The Flintstones”.  Even as he was giving me an unwanted facial, I realized that something very special had just happened.  Did he hold back on purpose when the boys were teasing him?  Did a burst of adrenaline make him pop the chain because he was so happy to see me?  Was this the bidding of a higher power?  Surely if he had broken loose when the boys were there, he would have bitten one or both of them and probably would have been put down as a result, or they would have seriously injured him in self-defense.  As it turned out, it was just another non-incident on 193rd Street.  I just shortened up on the chain about six inches so the broken link was no longer used, and we kept putting Sandy outside on nice afternoons.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dave's Birthday Food Wish List (subject to change)

Thanks to dietary restrictions, there are dozens of delicious foods I can no longer eat.  Every once in a while, one of them makes a cameo appearance in my head; right now, I am salivating wildly because I am thinking of so many of them!  (I think it's because I just finished working out and having lunch, and my body is screaming for more fuel.)

Following is a list of foods that I may or may not enjoy on my next birthday:

McDonald's french fries (drenched in ketchup)
Breyer's chocolate ice cream
Lobster bisque (just a cup - a bowl will not leave room for anything else)
Four big-ass chewy, chunky chocolate chip cookies
A large McDonald's chocolate shake (I really miss McDonald's)
An authentic pizza margherita
Two big handfuls of M&Ms (yes, I miss chocolate)
Peanut butter cups
Chocolate fudge cake (I know, I know)
Zeppoles with vanilla ice cream (added 4/9/11 -- thanks to "Tiffany & Co.")
A big plate of toll house cookies with a big, cold glass of skim milk (added 4/10/11 thanks to television)
Double bacon cheeseburger slathered with ketchup (three no-nos for the price of one!)
A giant bag of Cheetos (fried) (added 5/9/11 -- I broke down and got some Cheetos)
A large order of nachos with EVERYTHING.  (added 5/15/11)
Sugar coated cashews (added 5/24/11)
A box of Entenmann's chocolate donuts.  If I choose this, I get to eat the entire box in 2 days -- maybe 3 -- but I don't get a second selection.  (Added 6/17/11)

Upon review of this list, it becomes apparent that I ate a lot of chocolate.  Also, my all-time favorite thing to eat -- lasagna -- is not on the list because I make two pans of it twice a year, doctor's orders be damned.

Realistically, I'll probably only have two or three of the above items.  The one certainty is that I will not attempt to eat them all at once -- if eating all of this in one day did not kill me, I would certainly wish that it did!  In the meantime ... I'm hongry!  I think I'll go get a nosh.  Later.

Haiku - Stop Wasting Time

same snit different day

world will be here tomorrow

but will you be here?