Winter Haiku

Snowflakes fall gently

and transform a grey landscape

into my daydream

RAMBLINGS VOL XVI

Exercising has come full circle.  18 months ago, I had to push myself to work out as much as I could.  Recently, I had to force myself to take days off!  My schedule is down to 3 days a week, and my body seems to like it.

This Monday I spend the day at Georgetown Hospital Transplant Center getting evaluated for a kidney transplant.  I have prepared as well as I can for this moment; my fingers are crossed.

I would have had a lot more fun in life if I didn’t spend so much time worrying about what other people thought.

Okay, so I spent yesterday at G’town Hospital Transplant Center doing the kidney evaluation thing.  It was the usual outpatient hospital stay with a lot of “first-time orientation” thrown in for good measure.  At a couple of key junctures (the group presentation and my meeting with the nephrologist) I said to myself “this smells a lot like Orientation Day at Mayer Brown” (the law firm where I cut my corporate teeth and managed networks for a decade or so).  I couldn’t help but note that I used to be the person doing the spiel in the other seat, especially with the nephrologist, who was a pretty young foreigner (Brazilian? Could I be so lucky? I couldn’t nail her accent).  She furiously took notes and drove her points home.  I did the same thing every Monday with new hires for years (without taking notes).

I am daunted and energized, doubtful and confident, discouraged yet grateful that I am healthy enough to consider this option.  Whether or not I go forward with the transplant, just being able to consider it is empowering and makes me feel better.

Keep studying.  Keep exercising.  Keep praying.  It is working!

I’m watching “Are You Being Served” again!  My favorite actor/character is Mollie Sugden/Mrs. Slocombe!  Second favorite is Mr. Humphries and his outrageous costumes!

There are 88 constellations out there.  (Obviously there are zillions of constellations out there, but only 88 on record.)  The Southern Cross is the smallest.  It is only seen in the Southern Hemisphere (Australia?).

Being good at EVERYTHING is tough!

Stop wasting time watching stuff that isn’t funny or educational.  Or sports-oriented.  Or zombie-oriented.

RAMBLINGS VOL. XV

Don’t wait for your ship to come in.  Go out and meet it.

The six official U.N. languages are Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Russian, and Spanish.

Last week I met with a representative from the Maryland Department of Education to create my Individualized Plan of Employment.  My job goal is Computer Support – Help Desk – a less-than-exciting objective.  I was hoping for a more ambitious objective like Programmer.  My next step is to meet with a job developer who can get me in the door for some job interviews, which should be all that I need.  In the meantime, I continue studying for Windows 7 certification.  I just finished the chapter on TCP/IP, which is how the world will communicate in the future.  I know a lot more about the topic than I did six weeks ago – ‘nuff said.

Update -- I missed my appointment with the job developer because the paratransit van could not/did not/would not wait for me to walk down and meet it.  I actually saw it pull away.  Needless to say, I was way beyond pissed off at the time.  I went back up to the apartment and registered a complaint, then called the job developer to cancel and apologize.  It’s been a week since this occurred, and I haven’t yet called back to reschedule.  I’ll do this tomorrow.  Man’s inhumanity to man is starting to get to me.

Second update – I’ve called the job developer back a couple of times and left messages, and have not yet received a response.  On my next call I will politely question their professionalism.

A couple months ago I did a two-mile run on the Southwest Waterfront on a particularly hazy/hot day – not the best day to go running, but it had to be done.  While I was stretching after the run, I was approached by a young white kid (no more than seven) who was delightfully open-minded and curious.  He asked me where I lived, how I got to the Waterfront, and stuff like that there.  His older brother (a couple years older, no more) was about 30 feet away behind a monument to the people who perished when the Titanic sank, totally engrossed in whatever – I mean, dirt, air and water:  what else does a nine-year-old kid need for entertainment?  I was somewhat concerned about where their parents or guardians were, but I was much more concerned about what any other adult who witnessed this conversation would have thought.  I didn’t even ask the kid his name or where his parents were; I just finished my stretches and high-tailed it out of there.

Hope and pray for the best, but prepare for the worst.

I’m casually preparing my next online grocery order, and I notice that so far two categories have far more entries than any other – cookies and candy.  To be fair, I haven’t gone to the meat section yet, and I’m sure that dairy has a huge selection as well.  In the meantime, my cookie selections have been weaned down to ginger snaps and vanilla wafers (the off-brand wafers, not the pricey ones).

I was accosted by a member of the church across the way while I was stretching for my run.  He was kind enough to correct my stretching technique, and then launched into his spiel.  I happily answered his questions until he basically told me that I wasn’t going to get into heaven if I didn’t go to church.  Sorry, but that is precisely where I draw the line.  Looking back, I thank the gentleman for helping me to figure this out.

Back at St. Catherine of Siena in St. Albans, Queens, the rainy day PA announcement that “recess will be held in the cafeteria due to inclement weather” always made me wonder (a) who “Clement” was and (b) how did he get so much sway over the weather….

Crazy thing to try:  Smile at the first person you see when you leave the house.  And, of course, where you’re in the house!  J_

RAMBLINGS VOL. XIV - BLACKOUT RAMBLINGS

Saturday, June 30, 2012 5:05PM:  I am nicely wired!  Just finished my second meal of the day – Chobani blueberry yogurt with an entire pint of fresh raspberries, a cup of Kool-Aid mixed with apple juice, and an orange sherbet vodka chaser.  I “chased” the sherbet because it is melted; I could have sipped it through a straw.  As it was, I used a little tea party-style teacup to ingest the vodka-sherbet concoction.  Oh I almost forgot to mention the handful of Skittles for dessert.  Wired for sure!

Power has been out since about 11PM Friday night, thanks to the monster storm that caught many people by surprise.  The good news is that Hilva and I have been through this before, so we’re not freaking out.  More good news – even as the temperature soars to over 100 degrees today, we’re comfy in our home right now.  Our dwelling catches the sun in the morning and the shade during the hottest part of the day.  Also, we still have gas and running water (not to mention shelter).

This is the biggest storm and outage in these parts since – well, since last year.  Two million or so homes and businesses in the DMV (DC/Maryland/Virginia metropolitan area) have no power.  The powers that be (!) at the power companies had the good sense to tell all affected that this outage might last for days, even as long as a week.

While I was writing that last sentence, that little jackass on his scooter rode by our building.  Why does something so tiny have to make so much noise?  (Infants get a pass.)  The scooter bothers me even more when I’m trying to watch television.  Well, that’s not a problem today, is it?  No TV, no computer, no Internet, and no smartphone.  My smartphone isn’t dead, but it will be if I use it again, so I’ve powered it off in case we need it for an emergency.  I left Mom a message in NYC telling her that I’d be out of pocket until Sunday evening when I’m at dialysis or the power returns, whichever comes first.

@$%$#@$ Scooter Boy just rode through again.

Last night’s storm caused at least three fatalities in the MVA and dozens of casualties.  We are grateful to be here and healthy and in relatively good shape when many around us are not able to say the same.  That said, it’s still frustrating as hell.  I’ve been running the logistics in my head all day, and staying put until it’s unsafe to do so seems to make the most sense.

A fridge and freezer full of food are about to go south.  If power isn’t restored soon, my plan is to polish off leftovers and perishables first, and then start cooking everything in the freezer – first the chicken thighs and salmon, then the steak, then the chopped turkey and ground beef (3 pounds!), then the Italian sausage.  My logic is that the frozen food has some chance of being useful if we cook it, but no chance of being useful if left to thaw and spoil.  The Great Cook-Off starts early tomorrow.

Saturday, 7:52PM:  Daylight is dwindling.  This should actually be a rather comfy sleeping night, especially if another storm passes through.  No updates to pass along; we’ve elected to ride it out sans any new information.  We both have “power-ful” options on Sunday if there is still no power:  Hilva can travel to the office, and I have to go to dialysis in the evening.  Metro trains are running (I can see and hear them from my bedroom window), so getting downtown is no more difficult than the usual schlep.

“What about staying with friends?” you may ask.  With over two million homes and businesses without power in the area, many are in the same quandary.  I’m hoping for the evening to pass quickly and uneventfully, as things will doubtless sort themselves out on Sunday….

Oh yeah – Scooter Boy has been quiet for hours.  I’m guessing he ran out of gas.

Our neighbor just stopped by for some assistance in getting a flashlight to work.  The contacts were rusty and she had the wrong size batteries, but we were able to resolve both issues.  She in turn lent us a couple of candles (we can’t find ours).  Neighbors in need are friends indeed!

The blackout hasn’t kept me from working out.  I ran a couple of miles this morning before the heat became a health issue, and plan to do the same Sunday morning.

Thank goodness I keep my Kindle Fire fully charged at all times!  I have all night to read (Windows 7 Configuration, SQL Server 2012, and the Bible) and play Scrabble.  I also just downloaded the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe – perfect reading for an odd evening! 

As the last daylight rays bid farewell, so do I….

Sunday, 1:14AM:  Power restored!  I was blissfully dreaming about french fries drenched in ketchup when I was rudely awakened by the TV.  POWER!!  YAY!!

CHARGE!  Charge the smartphone!  Charge the battery-powered TV (just in case)!  Power on the PC!  Charge the iPod!  Must have Internet!  Is there any ice left?  The food has been saved!  I hear the Windows 7 Welcome sound!  Was that french fry dream in color?  Not sure.  Can the sherbet be saved?  All signs point to no.  Last but not least, I downloaded Poe to my Kindle.  Silly Dave forgot to download it from the cloud when he ordered it.

The day without power will make for a very healthy Dave, as I ate a week’s worth of yogurt and fresh berries in one day!  I also downed a couple of days’ worth of orange sherbet.

In review, I don’t think we could have handled the situation any better than we did; good for us!  J

A final note:  Power outages would be an excellent time to stage an invasion, if one were the invading sort.  Reasons:  inability to communicate electronically; population is focused on basest needs; police are tied up responding to calls; no television.  When power is restored, population is again focused on basest needs.  Ideally, one would position troops during a first outage, and strike during the second.

On that happy note, I’m off to get something to eat!

Taking Stock at 49-and-a-Half

Taking Stock at 49-and-a-Half

Thursday, November 24, 2011

This New Year’s Eve I turn 50. On the whole of it, 20 was better. My mind at 49 is cluttered with health and security issues, and every day I ask “what do I have to show for myself?”

I was recently asked to write down a snapshot of my life at age 21.  The upshot of that was a realization that so far in my life I have been able to accomplish just about everything that I have set my mind to.  Okay, so I wasn’t first-team All-City in basketball, but I did make honorable mention.  Not bad for a kid who didn’t know how to dribble at age 9, and other than a few moments with Coaches Kelly and Donohue (and Mr. Lata between gym classes) never had anything resembling instruction in my beloved game of hoops.  Thank you, Mr. Lata, for teaching me the mechanics of a proper jump shot.  Rest in peace.

When I set my mind to do something, consider it done.  Academic performance?  Forget about it.  Somewhere between third and fourth grade I stopped accepting what was presented to me and started looking for answers on my own.  I haven’t stopped since.

Problem is, once I achieve a goal, I throw it away.  The reasons are myriad:  I don’t realize how good I have it, I’m embarrassed about how good I have it, I feel that I can regain whatever I lose, I feel that spiritual accomplishments override material ones, I suffer from angry-misunderstood-black-man syndrome, so-and-so has it in for me, you name it, I can turn it into an excuse for failure.  Also, one of my guiding principles is that a person cannot truly master something until they walk away from it, so I derive satisfaction from walking away from a job well done.  I just need to work on my technique.

Luckily, one thing I am not burdened with at this point in my life is insecurity.  I have supreme confidence in my ability to get things done, and that confidence has paid off time and time again – especially since my kidneys failed two years ago. I am certain that with hard work and the Lord’s constant watchful guidance that my ship will always right itself and will sail straight and true to whatever destination I set.

As for my future, I am sticking with big goals.  Goal One:  I want ten million people to read something that I wrote.  I don’t care whether it’s an essay, a bumper sticker, a t-shirt, a song lyric, or an instruction manual on extraterrestrial communications.  If I can get 10,000,000 people to read, feel or hear it, I will consider this mission accomplished.  Goal Two is to help young people make smart, healthy life decisions in a chaotic world.  Goal Three, if at all possible, is to get paid for learning stuff, as opposed to getting an education to enhance one’s earning potential.  Why not? 

The tricky part will be turning these goals into realities; that’s where the rubber meets the road. 

Still My Sister

My sister Adrienne, who passed away a few months ago, still speaks to me all the time.  Sometimes we communicate via our thoughts, and sometimes we still use my smartphone!

Adrienne was the only person I texted on a regular basis, and I haven’t removed her from my Contacts list – I just added an “RIP” to her name.  As it turns out, her name appears first in my Contacts, and every now and again her last text message pops up on my phone:  “How are you doing?”  This never fails to make me smile, and I always automatically give her a quick update as to what’s happening in my life that day.  This happens once every couple of weeks; the last time was the night I was packing for a two-day NYC visit.  There’s no way that that wasn’t her!

I miss Adrienne a lot.

Reality Check - It's Tough Staying Loyal to Da 'Hood

When I woke at around 6AM this morning, it was raining.  So much for the morning run!

After breakfast, a nap, an hour or so of study, and a few music downloads, the skies had cleared, so I decided to get my run in, and I tried to kill three or four birds with one stone.  The plan was to get in a two-mile run which would leave me a block from the Jamaican pastry shop on Alabama Avenue in Southeast DC.  From there, I would buy two or three (okay, definitely three) beef patties, cross over to the liquor store and purchase a couple of MegaMillions tickets and a cool drink, and walk the mile home.

The run went smoothly.  Even before I got to the beef patty joint, I could see that it was still closed at - well, I wasn't sure what time it was, but I left my house a couple of minutes after 11AM, and my two-mile run took over half an hour (that's right, what of it?).  That means that when I got to the bakery, it was almost 12 noon, and it was closed.  Problem is, the sign in front says that it opens at 11AM.  I wasn't shocked or angered; I was merely disappointed.  Waiting for those blankety-blanks to get off their asses and open shop was absolutely not an option, so I smoothly segued to my next stop, the liquor store.

On the way to to the liquor store I walked past a bus stop which was the hangout for the local guys.  One of them remarked "are you on dialysis?" and offered his hand as I walked by.  As guarded as I was when I walked by this bus stop, I was completely taken off-guard by his directed commentary.  I said nothing, refused to acknowledge him, and just walked by.  He then said "Hope you feel better" or "hope you get better" -- I don't remember.  I know the guy was just trying to make conversation, and I could have replied in a more amiable fashion, but I've walked down similar streets enough times.  I quickly did the social math in my head and made what I thought was the correct call.

I think that I was offended because I had just finished a run and was in way better physical condition that that gentleman or any one of the four or five other guys at the bus stop, but this guy felt the need to speak on -- or to -- the two small bandages on my left bicep.  Was he just being observant, was he sizing me up, or was he just plain rude?  Answer:  all of the above.

Anyway, no worries at the liquor store; I got my two MegaMillions dollar autopick tickets and left without getting anything to drink.  The latest plan was to get a small drink at Popeye's, my next food choice.  At least Popeye's was open ....  When I got to the counter, I saw a sign that read "no credit card without proper ID".  (I only carried a debit card and four dollar bills on me at the time).  I tried ordering anyway, and was politely showed the aforementioned sign.  I could have started a little debate and pointed out that Popeye's was the only business in the area that had this additional requirement, but my immediate thought was to take my business elsewhere.

I politely thanked the cashier and proceeded across the street to Safeway to get some chicken breast cutlets that I could take home and turn into quesadillas.  This particular store is one of the few Safeways I've been to that does not have those "self-cashier" stations, so I surveyed the regular cashier lines.  There were four or five open, but they all had people ahead of me with at least one overflowing shopping cart.  I went to the shortest line and waited it out a good three or four minutes before deciding on cold cuts, salad and fruit for lunch -- all items that I knew were in plentiful stock at home.

I gotta tell ya -- the next time I see or hear someone saying that minorities should spend their money in their neighborhood establishments, I will remember what happened today and think that perhaps the neighborhood establishments should try a little harder to earn my business.  It's tough to stay loyal to the 'hood when every visit brings fresh reminders of why I was so eager to get out of it in the first place.

RAMBLINGS VOL. WHATEVER – I MEAN XIII

[Pictured above is Mehki, my great-grandson-in-law, a few years ago.  He's roughly twice that size now!]

Being 50 is tiring but fun!

I’m into my second week of feeling good when I wake up.  It has been many, many years since I felt this way.

I committed Psalms Chapter 23 verses 1-5 to memory in one day.

My sister Adrienne passed away last Tuesday.  I lost one of the few people that truly care about me.  I lost a good friend.  I lost my only sister.  Among other things, she was the only person who texted me.  As things turn out, since her loss I have already traded texts with Juanita, our brother’s daughter.  Coincidence?  I think not.

I am writing about Adrienne’s death here because it is now part of my daily thought process, so it belongs here.  Today I am going to try on the entire funeral ensemble to ensure that everything fits together.

Adrienne would want to know that I continued rambling in this fashion, so that’s what I’m going to do.

Last night, the NY-to-DC bus rolled through the ‘hood (northeast DC) on the way to Union Station, causing me to reminisce about the “good old days” growing up in the ‘hood.  That’s all nice and dandy until the bus stops and you have to get out and you’re in the ‘hood in the middle of the night.  It’s dank, it’s ugly, it smells, and it’s dangerous.

I haven’t written anything in more than two weeks.  This is partly because I am still mourning, but also because I am in a rut.  It’s a pretty good rut as ruts go, though.  I’m still exercising, eating right, praying, studying a lot more, applying for jobs, and generally doing things as they should be done on my end.  But the world keeps turning, people keep dying, and I’m not seeing any tangible progress on my end.  It’s a little discouraging.  On the bright side, I’m not letting it get to me by slacking off in any areas; I’m still making all my appointments and keeping all the promises that I make.  I know that things will eventually break, and when they do, I will be prepared.

The issue of futility rears its ugly head every now and again.  What is the point of trying to do the right thing?  THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT.  WE ARE THE POINT.

Adrienne finally found a comfortable place, and was then summoned to a more comfortable place.  I will miss her, and I will live my best life for as long as I can, and my goal will always be to find that comfortable place.  Until I see Adrienne on the other side, I won’t know whether her passing was a cruel irony or a fait accompli.  That is how the Lord wants it.

It’s not all that bad.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream another dream. - C.S. Lewis

I’m now in the part of my mourning where I’m not mourning Adrienne all the time any more, and when I think of this it shames me a little.  But that is just how it is.  The same thing will happen when I die – I hope.

It’s amazing how I have stopped writing!  It’s partially because I miss Adrienne, but also because I just haven’t felt like it until now.  OK, break over.

God is on my side!  He/she is helping me to get it right!