Reality Check - It's Tough Staying Loyal to Da 'Hood

When I woke at around 6AM this morning, it was raining.  So much for the morning run!

After breakfast, a nap, an hour or so of study, and a few music downloads, the skies had cleared, so I decided to get my run in, and I tried to kill three or four birds with one stone.  The plan was to get in a two-mile run which would leave me a block from the Jamaican pastry shop on Alabama Avenue in Southeast DC.  From there, I would buy two or three (okay, definitely three) beef patties, cross over to the liquor store and purchase a couple of MegaMillions tickets and a cool drink, and walk the mile home.

The run went smoothly.  Even before I got to the beef patty joint, I could see that it was still closed at - well, I wasn't sure what time it was, but I left my house a couple of minutes after 11AM, and my two-mile run took over half an hour (that's right, what of it?).  That means that when I got to the bakery, it was almost 12 noon, and it was closed.  Problem is, the sign in front says that it opens at 11AM.  I wasn't shocked or angered; I was merely disappointed.  Waiting for those blankety-blanks to get off their asses and open shop was absolutely not an option, so I smoothly segued to my next stop, the liquor store.

On the way to to the liquor store I walked past a bus stop which was the hangout for the local guys.  One of them remarked "are you on dialysis?" and offered his hand as I walked by.  As guarded as I was when I walked by this bus stop, I was completely taken off-guard by his directed commentary.  I said nothing, refused to acknowledge him, and just walked by.  He then said "Hope you feel better" or "hope you get better" -- I don't remember.  I know the guy was just trying to make conversation, and I could have replied in a more amiable fashion, but I've walked down similar streets enough times.  I quickly did the social math in my head and made what I thought was the correct call.

I think that I was offended because I had just finished a run and was in way better physical condition that that gentleman or any one of the four or five other guys at the bus stop, but this guy felt the need to speak on -- or to -- the two small bandages on my left bicep.  Was he just being observant, was he sizing me up, or was he just plain rude?  Answer:  all of the above.

Anyway, no worries at the liquor store; I got my two MegaMillions dollar autopick tickets and left without getting anything to drink.  The latest plan was to get a small drink at Popeye's, my next food choice.  At least Popeye's was open ....  When I got to the counter, I saw a sign that read "no credit card without proper ID".  (I only carried a debit card and four dollar bills on me at the time).  I tried ordering anyway, and was politely showed the aforementioned sign.  I could have started a little debate and pointed out that Popeye's was the only business in the area that had this additional requirement, but my immediate thought was to take my business elsewhere.

I politely thanked the cashier and proceeded across the street to Safeway to get some chicken breast cutlets that I could take home and turn into quesadillas.  This particular store is one of the few Safeways I've been to that does not have those "self-cashier" stations, so I surveyed the regular cashier lines.  There were four or five open, but they all had people ahead of me with at least one overflowing shopping cart.  I went to the shortest line and waited it out a good three or four minutes before deciding on cold cuts, salad and fruit for lunch -- all items that I knew were in plentiful stock at home.

I gotta tell ya -- the next time I see or hear someone saying that minorities should spend their money in their neighborhood establishments, I will remember what happened today and think that perhaps the neighborhood establishments should try a little harder to earn my business.  It's tough to stay loyal to the 'hood when every visit brings fresh reminders of why I was so eager to get out of it in the first place.

RAMBLINGS VOL. WHATEVER – I MEAN XIII

[Pictured above is Mehki, my great-grandson-in-law, a few years ago.  He's roughly twice that size now!]

Being 50 is tiring but fun!

I’m into my second week of feeling good when I wake up.  It has been many, many years since I felt this way.

I committed Psalms Chapter 23 verses 1-5 to memory in one day.

My sister Adrienne passed away last Tuesday.  I lost one of the few people that truly care about me.  I lost a good friend.  I lost my only sister.  Among other things, she was the only person who texted me.  As things turn out, since her loss I have already traded texts with Juanita, our brother’s daughter.  Coincidence?  I think not.

I am writing about Adrienne’s death here because it is now part of my daily thought process, so it belongs here.  Today I am going to try on the entire funeral ensemble to ensure that everything fits together.

Adrienne would want to know that I continued rambling in this fashion, so that’s what I’m going to do.

Last night, the NY-to-DC bus rolled through the ‘hood (northeast DC) on the way to Union Station, causing me to reminisce about the “good old days” growing up in the ‘hood.  That’s all nice and dandy until the bus stops and you have to get out and you’re in the ‘hood in the middle of the night.  It’s dank, it’s ugly, it smells, and it’s dangerous.

I haven’t written anything in more than two weeks.  This is partly because I am still mourning, but also because I am in a rut.  It’s a pretty good rut as ruts go, though.  I’m still exercising, eating right, praying, studying a lot more, applying for jobs, and generally doing things as they should be done on my end.  But the world keeps turning, people keep dying, and I’m not seeing any tangible progress on my end.  It’s a little discouraging.  On the bright side, I’m not letting it get to me by slacking off in any areas; I’m still making all my appointments and keeping all the promises that I make.  I know that things will eventually break, and when they do, I will be prepared.

The issue of futility rears its ugly head every now and again.  What is the point of trying to do the right thing?  THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT.  WE ARE THE POINT.

Adrienne finally found a comfortable place, and was then summoned to a more comfortable place.  I will miss her, and I will live my best life for as long as I can, and my goal will always be to find that comfortable place.  Until I see Adrienne on the other side, I won’t know whether her passing was a cruel irony or a fait accompli.  That is how the Lord wants it.

It’s not all that bad.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream another dream. - C.S. Lewis

I’m now in the part of my mourning where I’m not mourning Adrienne all the time any more, and when I think of this it shames me a little.  But that is just how it is.  The same thing will happen when I die – I hope.

It’s amazing how I have stopped writing!  It’s partially because I miss Adrienne, but also because I just haven’t felt like it until now.  OK, break over.

God is on my side!  He/she is helping me to get it right!

RAMBLINGS VOL XII

Better late than never.

With my new dialysis schedule, I find that CVS is no longer a convenient visit.  Problem?  No problem, as I find that suddenly I no longer need anything from CVS.  Hmmmm……

I cannot stand my new dialysis schedule.  I hate everything about it.  But it will be worth the change if I can return to work in 2012 and take a reading from that vantage point.

I just re-read my RAMBLINGS VOL XI, and saw that I asked myself “is there a career that would pay me for learning something new every day?”  It hit me like a Mack truck.  I was knee-deep in that career for over a decade!  J

I purchased a gyro (no tomato, extra sauce) while downtown running errands today.  Nine bucks is more than I like to spend for lunch, but it was worth it.  I had a light breakfast, and I don’t mind spending good money on good food (within limits, of course).  And that gyro feels great in my belly right now!

He gives power to the weak And to those who have no might He increases strength.  Isaiah 40:29

12/1/11:  I am having a great day so far.  I’ve learned a thing or three, and just finished an excellent workout.  Tonight I’ll visit the Phillips Collection before dialysis. Discounted admission price is $1.00 – bought the ticket online a couple of months ago.  Am in the middle of a nice lunch of crabcakes and some Chinese chicken and veggies.  I am going to miss these times after I return to work.

12/6/11:  I just flashed on french fries!  Mmmmmmm!  I might have to try some.

The Seven Deadly Sins Are:  Pride, Lust, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Gluttony and Envy.  I always list Pride first because that’s the one that I always forget.

12/8/11:  I’m actually looking forward to dialysis tonight.  I want to get in there and get it over with so I can be normal for three days.

12/9/11:  Fried fish (whiting) sandwiches for breakfast and lunch (plus an apple) today!  I purchased the fish yesterday afternoon.  Six fillets for ten bucks.  There’s enough left for one more sammich; I’ll let that keep for a day or two.  So what’s for dinner tonight?  I am undecided for the moment. 

I think that I would make an excellent food critic!

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.  -- Abraham Lincoln

Cha-Ching Moment:  I've been struggling with my smartphone's charger ever since I purchased the phone about six months ago.  I always had to adjust it "just so" to get it to charge.  (Since the phone was refurbished, I figured "oh well, you get what you pay for".)  Today I tried charging my phone with my Kindle’s charging cord -- cha-ching!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:13

I downloaded the Bible a week or so ago and started reading it.  I just finished Matthew.  I couldn’t make it through Proverbs without changing the channel.  Those two-line sayings got really irritating after the first seven or eight hundred.

I really miss the longer-distance runs.  In my case, longer distance means four to seven miles.  Once you’re out there in the midst of it and you get into your rhythm, the fatigue no longer matters.  It just feels really good.  The solitary aspect appeals to me as well.  My favorite run was in Germany on a summer Saturday morning in 1983.  It was about seven miles total and took me out through the boonies and some barren fields to a quaint little burg that was large enough to support a bunch of shops but not large enough to need a traffic light.  I ran through the town and back to the barracks, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t see a single person the entire time.

Yesterday afternoon I did 71 pushups without “breaking the position”, a personal best.  I was concerned that I hadn’t “tested” in a while and that my reduction of workouts in November would have an adverse effect on my results; a couple of weeks of training every other day seem to have quickly rounded me back into form.  Over the next couple of weeks I’m going to decide what physical fitness marks to go after in 2012.  I will definitely learn to swim.  Should I try a running program as well?  I’ll look into it….

[Author note:  four days later (Dec. 15) I did 72 push-ups.]

[Author note:  I “looked into it” and decided yes!  Feet permitting, I will make running the centerpiece of my workouts in 2012.]

I’ve been playing Scrabble online against anonymous players the last couple of weeks (I usually play against the computer).  So far my record is about the same – I lose as often as I win.  I must admit that I am surprised by this.  I know I’m not the smartest guy in the world and I don’t have the best vocabulary, but I was pretty sure that I was better than average; now I have my doubts.  That said, some of these players have to be cheating by using computer programs.  I could do the same thing, but that is not my style.  I improve by doing; yesterday I wrote down about six words which I had never heard of before that my opponents used against me.  I put them all in my spreadsheet, looked up the definitions, and wrote those down as well; that’s how I learn.  I used FETOR (stench) in a recent game because the computer used it against me months ago.  Some of the words that will go into my spreadsheet next time are:  YAG, BARBET, NOH, TREPAN, YWIS, DARIOLES, and GUAIAC.  Next time around, I’ll know what each word means.

[Author note:  In many circles, using assistance while playing Scrabble is not considered cheating.]

Tonight’s dinner was so good I had to stop and say grace a second time!  (Steak, salmon, Rice-A-Roni and a sliced apple)

Tonight I was supposed to watch the season premiere of the revived Fear Factor, which used to be one of my favorite shows.  I turned away from a “Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations” show which was featuring Amazon cuisine and culture (the river, not the Internet behemoth).  Much to my surprise, after about 30 seconds I flipped back to “No Reservations” because it looked much more interesting.

There are sixty-six books in the King James Bible.  Did someone think that that number would be cute?

In 2012 and beyond I am going to maximize the capabilities of my brain.  At this point there is no question that it is my greatest asset.

I joined the DC Public Library to get free music downloads (three per week) and learned that I can also use their free WiFi service to access the Internet.  Oh yeah, as an added bonus I can check out books!  J

Birthday pig-out update:  I couldn’t wait any longer!  I caved in on December 23 and ordered a pizza.  I still have a couple of slices left and will finish it off by tomorrow (12/26).  It tastes delicious and completely illegal.  The important thing is that I’ve gotten that monkey off my back and can now re-focus on eating right.  I still plan to buy some chocolate ice cream for my birthday, though!

Resolutions for 2012 – the list is longer than usual.  I generally like to keep the number down to about three.  But this year the list numbers 10:

Learn to swim

Buy a truck

Get teeth fixed

Resume career

Run, run, run!

Keep writing

Study every day

Dump Comcast Internet

Win something!

Take the stairs

If you try, you can accomplish anything.  And if you don’t accomplish everything – well, at least you tried!

Sometimes time flies by quickly; other times it can’t move quickly enough.

Scrabble rant - I feel better already

I spent many months recently playing Scrabble against "AI" (the computer) and improved to the point where I win about half the time.  Hot stuff, right?  Not in the world of online Scrabble.

I also play Words With Friends (who doesn't?), and haven't lost a game yet.  But Scrabble?  These gals and guys are amazing.  My opponents -- some friends, some anonymous -- have me scratching my head and cussing to myself with their 7- and 8-letter word combos, a lot of which are brand new to me.  They send me to the dictionary about as often as the computer does, which makes me wonder: How many of them are using the "hint" feature or some other word-finding software when they play online?  (I am a purist; I use neither.)

The worst is when an opponent plays a 7- or 8-letter word that I never heard of, like DARIOLES.  This is apparently a French dessert.  (I know just enough French to get into serious trouble over there.)  Equally infuriating is when they string two or three of these words together in succession. I've had this done to me both by humans and by computers.

I could rant about Scrabble for a good while, but I'll stop here and comfort myself with the knowledge that I get a little better every time I lose or have to look up a new word, and that I can do a crapload more push-ups than the vast majority of these weenies.  And besides, I really love the game! :-)

The End of Heroes?

Until recently, Joe Paterno was one of my sports idols: a great field general, a benefactor, a no-compromise academician, a trusted mentor to thousands of young men and women, and the winningest college football coach of all time. Those accolades no longer count for much because of the alleged sexual abuse of young men that took place on his watch as head coach of the Penn State varsity football program. “Joe Pa” had a big hand in the untimely demise of his career, but the unraveling of his legend was helped along by the much-smaller world that we now live in.

Heroes are going to be much harder to come by in the future because events are disseminated worldwide in the blink of an eye, short-circuiting a person’s or an organization’s ability to handle matters internally (or ignore them internally).  There are more safeguards and reporting mechanisms in place to keep people honest now than at any time in history.  Today’s media machine works in concert with human nature to make the publication of a person or group’s transgressions a near certainty. Becoming a hero is still possible, but holding that status has become a bigger challenge.

While television and the Internet make it easier to be a hero, blood tests and the ubiquitous camera’s eye make it harder to get away with cheating. Major League Baseball and professional cycling are two sports which will never be looked at again with the same innocence, and track and field is not that far behind. Athletes are suspended almost daily for infractions involving drug use and/or criminal behavior. Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Jose Canseco and Barry Bonds obliterated home run records that had been cherished for decades, but were then scorned and vilified for alleged use of performance-enhancing drugs. New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez stands to be baseball’s all-time home run leader by the time he retires, but he has already admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs while playing in the major leagues. Even if his records are allowed to stand, “A-Rod’s” legend will always have the unmistakable taint of steroid use.

Behaviors which were once blithely ignored (such as infidelity) are now red flags on the international moral/ethical blotter. Were President John F. Kennedy in office today, his dalliances would receive more attention and criticism than they did 50-some years ago.  Former President Clinton can attest to that, and so can former Congressman Anthony Wiener and (as of this writing) Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain. Athletes and politicians seem to fall the farthest and the fastest. 

Thanks to the 24-hour news cycle, our world is becoming one huge reality show. People are subject to more scrutiny at all levels, and so far it does not look like human behavior is going to change much as a result. The limelight that Andy Warhol predicted will eventually give everyone 15 minutes of fame is doing just as good a job of giving everyone 15 minutes of infamy.

Fare thee well, heroes!  Fare thee well.

RAMBLINGS VOL XI

11/1/11:  This morning, I heated up a leftover burger for breakfast and fried an egg to put on top.  In an inspirational flourish, I put a big load of ketchup on top.  I haven’t touched it yet, but I smell the ketchup right now.  Until this moment I never knew that you could smell ketchup.  The smell is unmistakable.

11/2/11:  My nocturnal dialysis session ended at about 4AM.  I caught the 36 bus home at about 4:55 AM.  I got home at 5:35 AM.  It is 8:16 AM, and I am WIDE AWAKE.  I think that my body is getting acclimated to the new schedule.  Whenever I do fall asleep, I know that I will sleep soundly, and have vivid dreams – probably in color!

I am amazed at how colorful the autumn leaves are this year!  But I’m pretty sure that they are the same old leaves every year.  So what’s different?  I am!  I spent Fall of ’09 in the hospital, and Fall of ’10 indisposed.  It’s nice to be healthy again.

My mind is still way ahead of my body.

Thanks to my new dialysis schedule, I love Saturdays even more!  I’ve had a full day to recover from my last session, and I have more than a full day until my next one!  I really do like the change.

Every now and again, our apartment catches a bunch of ladybugs.  It’s never just one; it’s always at least two.  I’ve seen them all over our place, but they really seem to like my bedroom, and they always seem to come in pairs.  Don’t know why.  Could it be the houseplants which are in the living room?

I want 10,000,000 views of my stuff; I figure by then the money will come naturally.  The next question – “how do I get to 10,000,000 views?” – is where the rubber meets the road.  I’m thinking comedy.  Or maybe a catchy slogan?  I would settle for 10,000,000 tee-shirts sold.  Or bumper stickers.  Or….

I purchased the Yahtzee game for my Kindle for 99 cents.  Didn’t Yahtzee used to be simple?

What is up with the ladybugs?  I thought it was just me, but a friend in New York State is experiencing the same thing.  I collected seven ladybug carcasses today.  I checked on the Internet, and there are two types of ladybugs, one local and one from Japan.  In late November they look for a spot to hibernate.  They tend to favor light-colored buildings and then look for cracks.  They’re good at finding the cracks, too!  Like I said, I collected seven of them in my bedroom today.

It’s Thursday evening.  I vacuumed up four more ladybugs today.  I’m getting ready for overnight dialysis.  The daily tedium is getting to me.  I need to find a way to shake things up without doing anything stupid.  In the meantime, I pray and maintain.

It is better to have a modest meal prepared with love than to feast with a bunch of haters – paraphrased from Proverbs 13:17

I’m looking up a recipe for tuna and green beans that I saw on Lidia Bastianich’s cooking show the other evening.  I typed in “lidia” on Google, and an entire page of results for Lidia instantly appeared.  THAT’S famous….

Is there a career out there that would pay me for learning new things every day?  That would be the perfect job for yours truly.  Of course, learning something new every day is its own reward.  But I digress….

I exercised today after an 11-day layoff.  Right now I am deliciously tired.  Two hours ago, I was really sorry that I had an 11-day layoff because I felt it in the gym, especially during push-ups.  There are a few reasons I took almost two weeks off, but the main reason is because I wanted to.  I will have to watch this very closely going forward, because there’s no way I’m going back to square one or, in my case, square zero.

I was flipping channels and hit “Gone With the Wind” on AMC.  I had never seen this movie so I was excited about it.  The acting was stilted and the colorization looked silly, but I was intent on watching it anyway – until some guy made a reference to “darkies”.  So much for that sh*t.

There was a new episode of Top Chef tonight.  I tried watching it three times back-to-back, and fell asleep before each ending.  I like when that happens.

IT marches on

Every time I upgrade one of my computers, I give the swap-out to a family member.  My mom has been the recipient twice.  She currently has a Dell desktop with all the peripherals that is more than powerful enough for her needs.  She likes to play Solitaire and the other games that came with the installation; she also listens to CDs and looks at photos on occasion.  The oddest and coolest thing is that she has no desire to use the Internet.  Mom is well-educated, well-read, and quite alert.  She is well aware of the Internet phenomenon, and some of her friends use the 'Net regularly.  But Mom gets along quite nicely without it, thank you very much.

My dad (RIP) and I were the only two in the family who were really bitten by the PC bug.  When Dad passed in 1985, my brother Owen and I cleared his apartment of his belongings.  One of his possessions was a Radio Shack TRS-80, one of the first computers made available to the mass market.  At the time, I was fascinated by it but couldn't figure out what to do with it.  I used it to write a program that picked Lotto numbers at random and quickly lost interest.  I have no idea what I did with the TRS-80; my guess is that I moved away from it at some point.  I don't think that it would command that much on the open market today, as they were quite popular in the early '80s.  But it would look really sweet hooked up to my Dell XPS410.

As for me -- I made an excellent living managing an IT department for over a decade. The career path was engaging to say the least, and I eagerly anticipate returning to the IT industry in 2012 after a long hiatus (early retirement followed by kidney failure). I enjoyed struggling with the challenges presented by IT in the workplace on a daily basis, doing my best to keep up with emergent technologies (an impossible task, but the fun is in the journey), and helping to develop and advance the careers of my co-workers. As time passed, it became evident to me that future advances in computing would center around the delivery method as opposed to the data processing function; when I look at the proliferation of smartphones, tablets, the Internet, and cloud computing, I can only think that this trend will continue, and that the best is yet to come!